Feeling so volatile today!!! Don't talk to me cause I might just bite your head off for no reason! or kick you in the shin just to see you cry, or whatev you get the point.... I think the deep root of it is I'm so flipping disgusted with myself that I feel a compulsion to take it out on everyone else.
My poor baby has heard his fair share of no, NO, NOOOOOOOOO this morning... time to take out the rubber gloves and take my aggression out on the bathroom. Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub till your hands chap and bleed, that will give you something constructive to do. Heal your bloody hands. I can do that.
thanks for the vent. See you same time tomorrow? With the same never ending problem? Sheesh keyboard your such a wonderful therapist.

My adjective for the day: Svelte.

1. slender, especially gracefully slender in figure; lithe.

I will use this word to be positive about myself, it describes me.

But I often feel like this svelte person is zipped inside a fat suit and the zipper is stuck....

TWO WORDS... SWISS CHOCOLATE. I have seriously eaten 5 pieces while I have been at work today. Work is always a toughy because I seldom pack food with me and get so faintinly hungry that I end up eating what ever is on the break table... Yeah that nasty cake that has been sitting there for over 2 weeks. When you are desperate, ughhhh I make myself sick.

Thanksgiving you have come and gone and I feel I didn't get too glutenous. The weather has been awesome and I should go for a jog... make the voices that say " clean your house, plan dinner, catch up on work" etc shut up for 30min and just do it. STOP MAKING EXCUSES. You know vigorously raking the leaves isn't enough for your body. Your body likes to burn, like fires of Hell burn to shed its protective fat layer..... ok, ok, ok.... Let me get that last load of laundry in and then I'll hit the leafy trails.

@#$* wagon why can you just hold still so I can get on and stay on. Why are you always pushing the weak and chubby off the back?
SO ... you know its bad when you have to shift your stomach fat to get a good back stretch in. Or you have to powder under your fat skirt so you won't sweat under there all day.... ugh super nasty.
And the sick this is I know I can change this. I have done it before and know I can do it again. But my inner fatty is so comfortable doing everything else but taking care of herself.
I'm freaking out about the holidays being here. If I got this fat during the normal parts of the year what are all of the rich decadent desserts going to do to my 237 lb body. (ps lost 8lbs, but if you know a true Clark you know that is the average turd log)
GET YOURSELF TOGETHER WOMAN....time to bust out the tapes? again.

Getting back on the wagon included. Participating in the wood cutting extravaganza yesterday. Basically we get a ton of people in the ward and family to come over cut down trees haul logs and split them. We have like 5cords collected from yesterday. I manned the log splitting machine while Natey-pie napped.
How is this exercise you ask? .... have you ever actually done it yourself? log lifting is tough, continuous running wagons full of split logs tireing, at the end of they day all you want to do is hit the sack and sleep... Pics later

Fell off the wagon...The decline started with my procedure, then "taking time to recoup" meant giving myself the ok to loaf around. I felt better started exercising again, then I caught the first cold of the season. Feeling crappy isn't a huge motivator, but manageable, then it snowed before Halloween. Trudging through the snow with a cold doesn't = fun......

I could keep listing all of the excuses I make myself feel better with all day long, but the truth underneath is that this battle is hard to fight on your own. Ipod only provides so much companionship...an exercise buddy would be so much more fun. Maybe I'll get a dog.

Bob Harper suggested starting this life transformation with walking everyday for 4 weeks. Its free, warms up your muscles, and clears you mind. I made it a week, time to try again.