Sheesh, the last post was in January. That just shows how much I have been letting too much of my life slip through my fingers. I'm 26 for crying out loud! In the prime of my life, and I need to get it together. I have finally started to care enough about myself to make some time for me. It was hard for me to stop feeling guilty about not taking care of everything else. I started by seeing my doctor to make sure I was "running" right. I had been experiencing a lot of hair loss and was nervous that it could be linked to family history of thyroid problems. Results came back good.
Glucose 90
Cholesterol 167
Triglycerides 80
HGL 51
LDL 100
I guess these number are good for a normal person,but given my family history, of all things bad dealing with heart and cholesterol they are border line. Going to the doctor took a little bit of the fear away. Its silly really, why should I be afraid of living the best life I can. Why should I think that my heart will explode if I go for a little jog, or fear my arteries couldn't with stand the strain. I am perfectly healthy, but even still the tough crosses my mind when I exercise sometimes. But I have learned that the body is incredibly resilient and really good at healing itself. I can do this!

Its only been two weeks that I have started exercising regularly. Its kicking my trash, but at the same time it has been invigorating. I can't jog very far, less than a mile, but it is a start. At first the jogging left me with a headache for the rest of the day even with adequate water consumption and eating regularly. I sucked it up and took some meds to dull the pain and exercised the next day. That's the critical part, just doing it. Not listening to the justifications or giving sway to the laziness. I have been making due with what I got. Meaning, I stopped telling myself that I would get in shape if I just had a treadmill or a weight bench. I started using that old dusty "infomercial" exercise equipment I've been hanging on to. Equipt with VHS workouts. (Thank heaven my husband is addicted to his tech devices old and new.) I have also been cross country hiking through our hill laden 14 acre woods often with my 22lb 1 year old strapped into his backpack. That is an excellent cardio and strength training exercise. I have been getting up a little earlier to pop in a tape or go jogging. I have been getting to know a lot of the back country roads near our home. I just hope there are no rapists or serial killer neighbors that I don't know about because I always go alone while baby is still sleeping.- With my phone strapped on in case of emergency. At first it was grueling and I felt like I had lead weights strapped to my feet. Now I can feel a little more energy, and I am sleeping better at night. Sure, I'm still kicking around a disgusting fat skirt, but I am trying and with time that will fade.

This journey isnt just about physically getting healthier. Its about learning to love myself. Making time to study my scripture so that my spirit is strengthened, making time to exercise to strengthen my body, and meditating through the process to find peace to my self torment. Its time to get everything back in balance. I am going to make a better effort to post more regularly to keep track of my motivators, workouts that work for me, and in general log my journey better.